Legion is another entry in the series of end-of-the-world pictures that have been
the favored of late. In this tale God has "gotten tired of the bullshit" and decides
to eradicate human life with the use of his angels. But Michael (Paul Bettany) has
defected from Heaven, cut off his wings, and decided to save mankind even if it requires
sacrificing his own life. Meanwhile, in a desert truck stop owned by Bob (Dennis
Quaid) and his son Jeep (Lucas Black), the mother of the child that can save us all
is a waitress named Charlie with a bad attitude who smokes during her pregnancy proving
that she never wanted this child to begin with.
As the attack ensues, the television
and radio signals go first. Then the angels begin to possess humans in an attempt
to kill others. They can be identified by sharp teeth, black eyes and the extraordinary
ability to climb walls and crawl across the ceiling. Stuck inside the truck stop
to defend themselves are a band of characters you won't much care about which is
sad because the cast is solid. There is Bob, his son, Charlie, A hook-handed cook
(Charles Dutton), some yuppie douchebags (Kate Walsh and Jon Tenney) with their troubled
teen daughter and a stranger that blows in on his way west (Tyrese). The remainder
of the film takes place in this desolate location as the characters take on the advancing
hordes of possessed humans and one by one bite the big one.
When everything else fails,
Gabriel comes down to finish the job that Michael refused to do. We get the idea
that he is basically a big brown-noser who kisses ass for the Lord (see what I did
there?). Then we have what should be an epic battle between opposing angels but
what little you can see of it thanks to the horrific editing is lackluster to say
the least. Yadda, yadda, yadda the chick has the baby and off she goes with Jeep
to learn to read the instructions. Hey, I'm just telling you like it is. Trust
me when I tell you it makes little more sense when you watch the whole thing.
When everything else fails, Gabriel comes down to finish the job that Michael refused
to do. We get the idea that he is basically a big brown-noser who kisses ass for
the Lord (see what I did there?). Then we have what should be an epic battle between
opposing angels but what little you can see of it thanks to the horrific editing
is lackluster to say the least. Yadda, yadda, yadda the chick has the baby and off
she goes with Jeep to learn to read the instructions. Hey, I'm just telling you
like it is. Trust me when I tell you it makes little more sense when you watch the
whole thing.
What could have been a truly thrilling feature with a fresh idea and
some really creepy moments falls flat and falls hard. Scott Stewart directed a few
interesting scenes but sadly this flick raises more questions than it answers until
finally you get to the point where you just don't care anymore. The performances
were all good if they were aiming to make you not give much of a damn for any of
the characters. I can't blame the actors for this, though. They simply fell victim
to lazy script writing in a film that fails to bring anything to a satisfying end.
Skip it and watch Dogma. Kevin Smith did many of the same things only much, much
better.
